i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
