She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
