I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
