So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Alive.
So much puke
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
