The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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