The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
