when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
