I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize