There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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