Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
