quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
