Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
