The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
