I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
