it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize