Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize