just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
