jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
