I wish they made helmets for livers.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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