Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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