He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
