My first STD was from a foam party
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
