Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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