this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
