I wannas sexs uuuuu
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
