Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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