how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
