Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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