Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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