I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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