Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize