guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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