He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
