Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
