Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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