fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
