Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
