you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
