I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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