How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
