Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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