my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
