Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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