Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
