We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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