drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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