yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
