Need sex. Gaining weight.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
