Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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