I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
