I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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