why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
