imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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