dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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