You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
