Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
