I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
